Speaking from the heart of a troubled
journey, I often wonder how would the Barbara of today approach the recognition,
care, education and guidance of my two sons diagnosed with ADHD? Well, I would
have welcomed a “wake-up” call that would have alerted me that the symptoms
manifested in my boys behavior was something other than what family and society
considered “Normal.” The following
are the four steps I hope I would have taken.
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| WebMD photo: link |
1) Definitely a professional diagnosis
would be my very first step. After a positive determination is made, I think the
next step would be for parents to set the right tone for conversations. That
tone should be open and reassuring...no judgments and harsh criticism with
regard to behavior. Helping them to understand and accept just what their
disorder is all about. Explain to them that they are not alone so that they
should not feel singled out. Point out to them that so many children and adults
have ADHD.
2) I would definitely talk about famous and
successful people who have ADD/ADHD. To be sure, it’s certainly highlighted in
our media today. Help them find a role model from the list, perhaps one they
can relate to. There are athletes, business leaders, musicians, actors and comedians out there who have risen to the top of
their field, and they are getting the job done. The late Robin Williams comes
immediately to mind. He rose to the top of his profession in spite of his
bipolar and depression disorder... undoubtedly the diagnosis of ADHD could be
factored into his brilliant and creative profile. More and more folks are being
open about their struggles with psychological and behavioral disorders. Perhaps
you could encourage your child to write a letter to one of them, and they just
might be surprised by getting some words of encouragement back.
3) Make a list of all the activities your
child likes to do; are these activities compatible with ADHD? Your child may be
better suited to a host of sports and activities than the ones he might be
struggling with today. ADDitude Magazine
has a comprehensive section for parents. They know the drill and they want to
help others to lead successful and life-affirming lives by offering informative
tips and advice. Google is also a viable resource, as we all well know. Many
yesterdays ago no one spoke about ADHD, but today not a day goes by without
more and information evolving about mental illness. Back in the late 60’s it
was called Minimal Brain Dysfunction; today it is relabeled ADHD...same
disorder but with more attention paid to a potentially dangerous track record.
Since ADHD rarely travels alone, it traveled with the disease of chemical
addiction with my two boys.
With you and your child, side by side, you
can reach out together to understand and adapt to ADHD in every aspect of your
lives.
4) Parents should develop and maintain
positive relationships with their children’s educators. CHADD (Children and Adults with ADHD) has a resource
program that offers Teacher Training on ADHD. If parents haven’t already done
so, they should educate themselves as much as possible with CHADD.org and their many resources, events and conferences.
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My
story has grown through the years in recognition of the extensive research
relating to ADHD, mental illness and chemical addiction.
We
looked for answers but there weren’t any in the early 70’s. Consequently, I was
burdened with judgments and stigma on my shoulders. My little creative and
intelligent “daredevils” and “dreamers” became, by reputation, a result of bad
parenting. And so, as a result, through all those busy and challenging years, I
had neither the words or the knowledge to make any sort of a connection between
the boy’s problem and the fact, that I later learned, their genetic patterning
was on overload. I was inexperienced, I was young. I thought love could conquer
all. And...I was wrong.
It is my hope that the experience of my
family and the information that I bring to bear on the subject will help
families suffering from the combined effects of ADHD and ADDiction. It is my
belief that the connection between these is something that is woefully
underexposed to the detriment of thousands.
