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| From beautifulwords.net: Link |
by Barbara Mulloy Robbins
These days, if
we look around at the people in our lives, it’s hard to find one person not
embroiled in troubled times. It seems the challenge of navigating stress, drama
and chaos has become the norm for more people than ever before. Couple all that
with mental illness issues and you have a recipe for disaster.
Coping with a
loved one embattled with mental health issues can be one of the most
disheartening things to deal with for family members managing the role of caregiver.
Mainly because most of us are not trained to handle the intricacies of
disorders of the mind. Often, we are left on our own to care for our loved one
thanks to the lack of attention and funding from local and national government.
It doesn’t take long for the inevitable feelings of helplessness to wash over
us.
I have been
there, as so many others have. Who takes care of the caregiver? In most cases,
caregivers must remember to take care of themselves because, sadly, no one else
is going to do it for them. But, there has
to come a point where something has to give inside you. Something has to occur
within ourselves that gives us the strength to literally Let Go and Let God.
This blog’s tag
line is “cry, love and live.” Consider effective coping strategies and enjoy
moments of humor despite the challenges thrown your way. It’s okay to
experience joy in the midst of sorrow. Do not feel guilty. In Chapter 21 of my
book, I refer to the words of Don Hackett (from a Compassionate Friend’s
monthly newsletter) titled The Promise of Spring…
As winter
yields to spring, the land seems to throb with life. The day is longer and
filled with renewed vitality. It is as if it’s cold hand has loosened its
bitter grip and the earth is reborn. It is this quality of resurrection that
seems so bitter. For I struggle in the darkness of loss, all around us is the vigorous
rush of life breaking forth in colors and song. But our own children do not
come forth. Yet, in spring’s unfolding, its return affirms the continuity of
life.
We cannot
allow ourselves to stay trapped. As much as our current situations have us
cornered, we must teach ourselves to embrace again like a coming spring.
“I love
people. I love my family, my children, but inside myself is a place where I
live all alone and that’s where you renew your springs that never dry.” –
Pearl S. Buck from Chapter 8: Self
Discovery of An Uphill Struggle.
It will take
both courage and strength to arrive at the “Let Go and Let God” place. This
doesn’t mean letting go of yourself. A very old, yet timeless newspaper column
titled “Just for Today” written by Frank Crane for the Boston Globe can be very
helpful with maintaining yourself on a daily basis. There are ten simple tips…as
per Frank Crane…
Here are ten resolutions to make
when you awake in the morning. They are Just for One Day. Think
of them not as a life task but as a day’s work. These things will give you
pleasure. Yet they require will power. You don’t need resolutions to do what is
easy.
1. Just for Today, I will try to
live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life-problem at once. I can
do some things for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt I had to keep
them up for a lifetime.
2. Just for Today, I will be happy. This assumes that what Abraham Lincoln said is true, that “most folks
are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Happiness is from
Within; it is not a matter of externals.
3. Just for Today, I will adjust
myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will
take my family, my business, and my luck as they come, and fit myself to them.
4. Just for Today, I will take
care of my body. I will exercise it, care for it, and nourish it, and not abuse
it nor neglect it; so that it will be a perfect machine for my will.
5. Just for Today, I will try to
strengthen my mind, I will study. I will learn something useful, I will not be
a mental loafer all day. I will read something that requires effort, thought
and concentration.
6. Just for Today, I will exercise
my soul. In three ways, to wit:
(a) I will do somebody a good turn
and not get found out. If anybody knows of it, it will not count.
(b) I will do at least two things
I don’t want to do, as William James suggests just for exercise.
(c) I will not show any one that
my feelings are hurt. They may be hurt, but today I will not show it.
7. Just for Today, I will be
agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress as becomingly as possible,
talk low, act courteously, be liberal with flattery, criticize not one
bit nor find fault with anything, and not try to regulate nor improve
anybody.
8. Just for Today, I will have a program. I will write down just what I expect to do every hour. I may not follow
it exactly, but I’ll have it. It will save me from the two pests Hurry and
Indecision.
9. Just for Today, I will have a
quiet half hour, all by myself, and relax. During this half hour, some time, I
will think of God, so as to get a little more perspective to my life.
10. Just for Today, I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to be happy, to enjoy what is beautiful, to love and to believe that those I love, love me.
(Copyright, 1921 by Frank Crane, link)
God Bless us all.
To Look Back
To look back
might mean never
to go on.
To see the pile of
shattered glass
and broken days
of horror of
time that's lost.
To listen for
the voices of sons
that ran once
like laughing brooks,
to hear the echo
of footfalls when
they walked into
mustaches and manhood
before I turned.
If I should thumb
through photographs that
remind me how I lived
in the margins of my life,
I might never go on,
climbing Jacob's mystic ladder
into the night,
searching for a place
to rest in some perfect light.
I might stop.
And what then?
To Look Back by Senator
William S. Cohen from his collection, A Baker’s Nickel
